Through things that we would never choose to happen, God shows up and continues to remind us that He will always be with us. Through these things, we see God's favor and grace. We see community and love. We see God's favorite thing to witness... changing hearts.
I get angry at God sometimes. I get angry at the times when I'm desperately seeking answers and miracles, but the opposite happens. I get angry reading His Word that says "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7) I ask and I don't see results. I knock so hard I'm in tears from the pain, but the doors don't open.
Then I read this: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
The truth is I don't understand. His word also says "I do not know what I ought to pray for..." (Romans 8:26). The Spirit intercedes for us with words that we can't express. And I suppose if we're too angry at God, we don't allow the Spirit to intercede.
I had to forgive God this year. When I did, I saw the things He was working on through the thing I was so angry at Him for. I see my mom growing in faith, praising God, loving life. I see my dad, a man of quiet faith, but incredible love. I see my brother, a man who doesn't seek God often, but prays for healing. I see friends loving and serving my family with such great love. I understand why God does some things that He does. Sometimes it takes a load of crap to see the diamonds that God has so perfectly shined.
God is amazing to me.
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